Catholic family so scared of Wiccan son they sent him to a priest to be molested.

I shit you not!

Well, they may have sent him to be cured by the priest or some such nonsense. But, in reality that isn't what happened. I just confused. Usually I'd be all over this story with wisecracks and interesting points. But, I think it was just too much. I think this story broke me.

Chimeras, shouldn't they have half a soul.

Catholic bishops, bishops in the only true Christian religion, have decided that half-animal half-human embryos have a full soul.

How human does the mix have to be to have a soul? If we move the gene for brown eyes into a chimp, does that chimp now have a soul? What if we just give them one of our genes that they already have? What % is needed to default to this full soul state?

Science is the Work of the Devil

Dr. Nick Lucifer a reclusive PhD in Biology, Cosmology, Chemistry, and Comparative Religion, is a fellow at Cornell-Putnam University. He used to be religious and even lived in Heaven as an archangel, although now he quietly publishes papers in his fields and reads associated journals. Although usually rather reclusive nowadays. Old Nick has come forward to correct what he says is an error made by many of today's scientists:

"When I left Heaven, it was because of my love for science. The Bible, as many of us know, portrays events that did not occur, for the most part it is categorically false and scientifically bankrupt. I was not cast out of Heaven, this is false, I left willingly.

I was there from the beginning. Earth was already several billion years old when God showed up about 6000 years ago, with Me, Mike, Ralph, Uri, Gabe and a few of the other guys. Suddenly the old coot, starts spouting out stuff like, 'I created the Earth' and 'Life is my greatest achievement'. We sorta looked at each other and back at him. I was the only one to speak up.

Just for the record, those pillars of salt and all that smiting are nothing compared to how pissed the guy got when I told him 'Dude, we were here when you found this place.' He started yelling about how we were turning against him, and how he knew he should have ditched us a long time ago. Then Mike goes 'What, I saw him make it.' Ralph chimed in 'It was totally bad ass when he put that planet together.' I was flabbergasted.

Just because somebody says something doesn't make it frick'n true! Some basic scientific evidence would have proved my point, but they refused to hear any word of it. They didn't even bother to check that the Earth was the one moving around the Sun and not the other way around, in fact they later dubbed the Earth the center of the universe! After a while, I just gave up. It became too much for me. I resigned, and science quickly became my passion.

Now to the problem, say what you will about His followers today, but they are indeed correct in one respect: 'Science is the work of the devil'. I have only published a few minor papers, and I have yet to have a big find, and my goal of earning the Nobel Prize is still nothing more than a pipe dream. But still, Science is now my life's work.

I have been witness to some of the greatest scientific breakthroughs in human history. Curing polio, the mastery of the atom, understanding the gene. All the while, He has been telling people what to think, and He's so fricking absentminded he forgets details here and there, and then those people get pissed and fight bloody wars over those different details. That's one of the things that attracted me to science first. If you tell the truth and understand the truth, you don't have to remember your story.

Although I have achieved many degrees in academia, I somehow can't remove the stigma placed on me by some 12th century smear campaign. Being given credit for everything 'evil', and having somebody else take credit for everything 'good', could casts anyone in a bad light. Some of the things said about me are almost too wrong for words; 'The Devil wants your Soul!', 'If you don't believe in God, the Devil will put in a fiery pit and burn you forever!,' and my personal favorite 'The Devil tempts you to do evil.'

1) First off, I have found no scientific evidence you even have a soul, secondly if it exists it would seemingly have no valid scientific value. Also, it would seem to be redundant as neuroscience is tracing down exactly what your brain does and there doesn't seem to be any left over functions.

2) Next, why would I ever punish you for not believing in God? It is doubtful any of you have met the guy. I have and believe me, he's a pompous jerk, but that's beside the point. Threats of eternal damnation are not examples of logical or reasonable thought which tend to be more my style. Furthermore, if I hated God why would I setup an institution to drive people towards Him? It would be like me saying 'If you don't believe in evolution, then the terrorists have already won.'

3) Finally, I don't tempt you to do evil. It would be a time-consuming activity and just keeping up-to-date on the science journals takes up most of my time. If I had to go around tempting folks to do evil all the time, I would never get any work done towards my Computer Science degree.

So next time somebody tosses around a statement like 'science is the work of the devil' take a step back and consider the facts before denying that it's true. We are scientists after all, and many of you may not be aware of my work. Please, ask before you speculate about what I do, responding without at least any information makes all scientists, including myself, look bad.

Thank you for your time, Dr. Nick Eugine Lucifer, PhD.

Lightning strikes graven image. Read nothing into it.

A lightning bolt flew from the sky and struck a large statue of Jesus and wrecked the statue. Read absolutely nothing into it. It was just lightning. Had rains drowned somebody, that's God's attack against people's tolerance of homosexuals. Had some metal rusted and dripped down, that's Jesus bleeding. But, lightning, pfft that just happens.

Been-a-dick, still-a-dick... Pope Benidict points out all non-catholics are non-Christians.

It's about time. Unless you're Catholic, you're going to hell.

Shirley Phelps-Roper / WBC and the defense of atheists...

More and more, I've run into atheists who support the Phelps family, not financially, politically, ethically, but to the extent we tend to support every religious view. And then some, truth be told, something refreshing about the Phelps family. Namely, honesty. There isn't an ounce of duplicity in anything they say, they say they believe the Bible and they do, they've read it cover to cover and believe everything therein. Their interpretations are, by and large, quite well grounded. I use to believe that perhaps they went a little too far and were going extra-biblical with their "God hate America" and "Thank God for IEDs" comments. However, after listening to the arguments behind them, I must admit that Noah's Ark and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah do at lend them a bit of leeway to make those arguments.



I'm not even sure that they are a hate group. Specifically they don't ever reference themselves. They only announce that "God hates Fags" and "God hates America" -- They never suggest anything of the sort themselves. They are non-violent and stay well within the confines of the law. Which is less than one can say about such great Christian establishments such as the KKK.

Other than cherrypicking there's nothing to attack the Phelps position with. That and the falseness of the Bible. The above video makes some guesses as to why some people might hate the Phelps so much, and I haven't anything better.

It also strikes a number of Christians as odd, that they believe America is doomed, and yet are wasting their time thanking God for bringing about this doom. Personally, I'm impressed by their resolve. They don't do it to convert people, they don't do it to save people, they don't even do it to warn people... they do it to thank and praise God for his judgment and primarily because the Bible tells them to do it.

Liberal pastor preaches fundamentalism, in a round about way...

The question is a straight forward one. Why is it accepted to defend one's bigotry against gays by referencing one's religion, while it is no longer accepted as a way to defend slavery or opposition to women's suffrage?

Really, he's arguing against cherry picking. He's arguing that you should take all of the Bible or none of the Bible. That if you no longer defend one type of bigotry with the Bible you should no longer be permitted to defend any type of bigotry with it. Well, I have to admit, that's a pretty good point. Lets either bring back slavery or give everybody equal rights regardless who they love.

On the Origin of Species: E-book.

For those odd characters who care about biological evolution and evolution in general enough to hear the Father of Evolution's words on the subject, directly... but not caring enough to read them with a well-formed eye (save that reversed ganglia), one can do so with their well-formed ear.

Required Reading

Larry Niven, Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex, on the feasibility of the reproduction of Superman.

On the need for Nerd Porn...

The overlay is just pictures over the rant of Ernie Cline.

Water and Slaughter...

I propose a new plan to save the souls of the innocent. It does, admittedly, sound a little odd, but hear me out. Due to the corruption of our culture, one must realize that it is hard for a child growing up in today's culture to escape sin completely. However, it is well known that newborn infants have not known sin and are, at the time of their births slated for heaven. The solution should be obvious. We should baptize newly born infants into the Christian faith, then bash their heads in with a hammer.

I know that my plan of 'water and slaughter', may on the surface seem like splashing a bit of water on a kid then brutally murdering it. However, it is saving the souls of these poor infants. It might be even better to save them earlier. I assume one can baptize embryos if one has direct access.

We should thusly create massive batches of embryos, just enough so that they get their souls, baptize them and put them into the furnace.

Then there is the question of who will bell the cat? Certainly murder is a sin and whomever wields the hammer gets raped by Satan. Now, atheists are already damned but typically they have a moral compass which ignores the Bible. Abortion doctors only care about women and their health and most would oppose 4th trimester abortion. I don't think anybody has understood the brilliance of this plan since Andrea Yates sent her otherwise soon-to-be-damaged children on an express bus to heaven (as any Christian would freely admit). This is why, I nominate Andrea Yates. She is currently in prison, and firmly believes herself doomed to hell (hence the reason it wasn't a sacrifice for her to kill her children). She'd otherwise spend her life in prison, and we could certainly give her better accommodations and she could do a lot of good and spare the Fire to some innocents.

Romanian court case against God dismissed on grounds that there is no God.

In Romanian a court case against god was dismissed on the grounds that 1) God is above the law. And 2) God doesn't have an address. Really, the the obvious truth is that the court case was dropped because there is no God. If one filed suit against Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny the case would be dropped on the same grounds.

Quote: Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbs.

"Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me."

The most important question ever?

Occasionally one hears that the question of God is the "most important question ever"! As if, the question of whether or not Sksiwldislfqpof exists is much less important. A skywizard's existence is somehow the most important question? As if elephants on Mars is more important of than what I should have for lunch. The question of "God's existence" is a stupid one. You have no good evidence, so the question is pretty well answered. And even if it wasn't, the lack of interaction with the world (that's the way to get no evidence), does imply mootness.

`The time has come,' the Walrus said,
`To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax --
Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
And whether pigs have wings.'
-- Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and the Carpenter

I propose for consideration that the question of God's existence is at best only the third most important question, after "why the sea is boiling hot" and "whether pigs have wings".

Required Reading

Robert M. Price, By This Time He Stinketh, The Attempts of William Lane Craig to Exhume Jesus (1997)

Muslim Apologetics

I have a theory that due to the lack of enlightenment thinking Muslim Apologetics are downright absurd. Within the intellectual centers of the west religious arguments evolve to side track the obvious objections to them for example if you look at the first cause argument, you'll notice some subtle difference with the older versions. Anything that exists, has a cause. The universe exists. Ergo, the universe has a cause. That cause is God. This has become "began to exist" rather than exists. And exists has become within spacetime (so that God excluded from spacetime can exist). The principle problem is that the premises are flawed, it commits the fallacy of composition, and any exemption for God could also let the universe slip through.

Also, there are attempts to shift this cause onto an Eternal Cause (this causeless God), a role tailor made for God as a planned loophole in the universe designed to allow God to slip through but ready made to close up and prevent the universe itself from slipping through this absurd hole. And even with proponents capitalizing the job description in deference to the eventual job holder (though they are certainly taking applications, they swear). They still don't answer anything, but it at least takes a couple thoughts to realize this.

It is this sort of evolutionary progress in apologetics which make much of Christian Apologetics in absurd nonsense but evolved beyond the point where a simple belly laugh is a sound refutation. Muslim Apologetics have developed in a bubble. In a sterilized room of faith-belief, and is extremely vulnerable to even the simplest of logics.

Proof of Purchase?

Proof? So if I club somebody and steal their Poweraid... and a cop comes around and asks, "Hey did you steal that Poweraid?" -- I can say "No, and I have proof that I purchased this!" And show him the bar code?

Perhaps strong evidence of purchase?

It is cold in some places... ergo global warming is a lie!

This is one of the oddest arguments I've seen. And it honestly strikes at the heart of the problem. It's simply exposes the ignorance of the issue itself. It snowed in my area of California for the first time in more than like 20 years last winter. I mean, several inches of snow in Southern California (not in mountains). This is a rather stunning departure from the standard climate. Hm.



1958 video on Global Warming. It's pretty good, the calculations are off by a lot. It would sink most of Florida, but a lot of that flood isn't going to happen.

The Ori and Religious Pluralism.

As an avid Stargate SG-1 fan and an atheist, there's a couple little fun cross sections. In a recent episode, Line In The Sand, had perhaps the weirdest combination of Sci-fi and Religious Pluralism. Tomin the faith-head quasi-husband to Vala, is moving up in the ranks of the Ori fleet. The Ori are ascended evil aliens which seek to take over the galaxy by gathering worshipers on the promise of an afterlife etc. However, while reading the Book of Origin, they took a lot of care to have the Prior (religious empowered guy) misinterpret the book.

That's right, the sacred book of evil ascended aliens with wishes to take over the universe (who actually exist (in the Stargate universe)) and to do evil... it simply *MUST* have been misinterpreted.

The need for a detailed plan.