Silly Muslims put food in a zoo.

Now they protect it because they don't want cooties.

Saudi King pardons rape victim.

Apparently a rape victim in Saudi Arabia is actually getting pardoned. Basically a man and women were abducted and raped (taken from separate places) and stuffed into a car. The seven rapists were given sentences up to 9 whole years in prison. The woman was sentenced to 90 lashes and jail time for the crime of being in the car with somebody who wasn't close family. She was later given another 200 lashes to her sentence for appealing the decision.

Well, now she's being pardoned. So you see, religions really can learn to grow and change. After that teddy bear naming pardon the only real complaint people can muster is that THOSE AREN'T REAL CRIMES IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU IGNORANT FUCKS WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! Which, obviously is a cultural difference rather than a religious one, for example our culture wants people punished for violating arcane rules in the Bible. Whereas in their culture it's customary to punish people for violating arcane rules in the Koran. So don't anybody go blaming religion.

Redefining 'planets' to keep Muslims down.

12:4 When Joseph said unto his father: O my father! Lo! I saw in a dream eleven planets and the sun and the moon, I saw them prostrating themselves unto me.

In Surah 12:4, the SAQ makes this note: "Joseph saw in a dream eleven planets. Does this mean that according to the Quran there are eleven planets in our solar system?"

What's funny about this is we only have 8 planets, but what would be the case if we didn't change the definition of planets? We would have added Ceres, Pluto, Eris to our counts. We would have had 11! My goodness, thankfully we redefined planets just in time to prevent the Koran from being correct. We never would have heard the end of it!

Thank you astronomers. Shhh... nobody tell, I don't think the Muslim have stumbled on to this yet.

Nudity more dangerous than Bombs, because it causes the breakdown of morality...

The idea that nudity is more dangerous than bombs, seems on the surface a bit odd. But, consider the breakdown of morality within the animal kingdom as a result.

-- When one animal murders and eats another animal, both of these animals are nude!
-- When one lion forcibly mounts and rapes a lioness, shouldn't one note that that lioness was naked?

Do you think that lion would do such a thing if that lioness was dressed in a burka?


Bombing however is completely moral, as you can tell by the fact that all bomb makers are quite well adorned with clothing fully covering all the naughty bits.