Friday, February 8, 2008
Gay Distaster Shield
It has long been offered that the obvious and clearly divine powers of gays could be harnessed for good. For example, at the same time gays were making it rain in the UK gays were causing a drought in the Southern States in the US. Clearly there's a sort of disaster buildup as far as homosexuals go. We should then, when such things occur, pay to move the gays from one region temporarily to another region. This way we can mitigate the disasters. Just as the gays protected the French Quarter of NOLA from being damaged they could protect other people from disaster. I know there might be some troubles here and there, and depending on how exactly gays have this disaster ability it might be too dangerous to keep them in certain areas. Therefore I recommend we spend a lot of money making some tropical island into a gay paradise along with a bunker. So when natural disasters come they can just scamper into the bunker and be absolutely safe. And then when it's gone go back to sipping their drinks on the beach and puttering on their fiber internet connection. I think the government should get right on this.
Though, I'm not gay, I want the best for people and if that means harnessing the superpowers of others so be it. I can cross my eyes and turn to pictures into one and use that to solve those, "what's different where puzzles." If that would save people, I would use it. Also, I think we might want to send a few fundamentalist preachers to this island (and not the ones who'd like it) because similar to the old saying about the people needed to hurt you: "an enemy to insult you, and a friend to tell you." We might need the preachers there in order to bring this "divine wrath". It might take fiddling with some of the variables as to what exactly cues this "divine wrath" and how quantifiable and controllable it may be. But, that's why we do these experiments.