Sunday, January 27, 2008

281 Tricks to Irritate an Atheist.

2) Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.

5) Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.

8) Make up statistics.

12) Use multiple versions of Pascal's Wager as though you thought them up yourself.

14) Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.

15) Say that seperation of church and state isn't in the Constitution; insist that the Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments.

19) Point out that we all take things on faith.

21) After losing the argument say, "I pity you."

29) When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.

30) Argue that the Bible stories are not myths . . . they're parables. And they're all true!

37) Explain that the lack of proof doesn't mean it didn't happen.

44) Accuse him of being an agnostic, since he isn't 100% positive that God does not exist.

58) Insist that faith is the only logical answer.

59) No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it's out of context.

83) Quote Psalm 14:1 to him.
99) State that Christianity has done a lot of good along with all the mass murder.

124) Say that evolution is not proven -- therefore the Bible is correct.

125) Tell him it's his responsibility to prove that God doesn't exist.

143) Show that the Bible must be true because when you take the original Hebrew letters, spread them out and twist them around, you can spell words.

155) Use the word "presupposition" incorrectly, repeatedly.

173) Tell him that everyone has faith in SOMETHING.


223) Avoid taxes and regulations because you're doing God's work.

244) Grossly misunderstand the word "theory."

256) Ask if he's ever heard of Jesus Christ.

280) When he shows up at your wedding, bearing an expensive gift for you, return the favor by sicing your minister on him after the ceremony.

281) If he has cancer, tell him with a sickeningly sweet smile that you will pray for his recovery, because someone needs to.

281) When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus.

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