Sunday, July 15, 2007

Water and Slaughter...

I propose a new plan to save the souls of the innocent. It does, admittedly, sound a little odd, but hear me out. Due to the corruption of our culture, one must realize that it is hard for a child growing up in today's culture to escape sin completely. However, it is well known that newborn infants have not known sin and are, at the time of their births slated for heaven. The solution should be obvious. We should baptize newly born infants into the Christian faith, then bash their heads in with a hammer.

I know that my plan of 'water and slaughter', may on the surface seem like splashing a bit of water on a kid then brutally murdering it. However, it is saving the souls of these poor infants. It might be even better to save them earlier. I assume one can baptize embryos if one has direct access.

We should thusly create massive batches of embryos, just enough so that they get their souls, baptize them and put them into the furnace.

Then there is the question of who will bell the cat? Certainly murder is a sin and whomever wields the hammer gets raped by Satan. Now, atheists are already damned but typically they have a moral compass which ignores the Bible. Abortion doctors only care about women and their health and most would oppose 4th trimester abortion. I don't think anybody has understood the brilliance of this plan since Andrea Yates sent her otherwise soon-to-be-damaged children on an express bus to heaven (as any Christian would freely admit). This is why, I nominate Andrea Yates. She is currently in prison, and firmly believes herself doomed to hell (hence the reason it wasn't a sacrifice for her to kill her children). She'd otherwise spend her life in prison, and we could certainly give her better accommodations and she could do a lot of good and spare the Fire to some innocents.

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