Goodness forbid I cite what the Bible says, as having any authority over what the Bible means.

I told an eight year old once not to eat my cookie. He took it as an metaphor and ate the cookie but promised not to remove the sweetness from my life, or make me less rounded.

I understand the urge to craft one's religious faith into something you can show off to your neighbors without that much embarrassment, but if you're going to strip it of enough to pull off that feat, why not dump the husk that remains and embrace truth without duplicity?