Saturday, February 20, 2010

Why I'm not a Christian.

There have been a number of good essays with this same title. In this time honored tradition, I offer the following snide paragraph.

Your delusional belief that you can telepathically communicate with a first-century wish-granting Jewish zombie man-god-ghost thing who took on human form in order to sacrifice Himself to Himself to give Himself permission to forgive His creations' children for His creations having eaten His magical fruit from His magical tree in His magical garden, after several failed attempts to murder them all, just isn't my bag. I'm sorry, but I'm not in the market for new beliefs and if I were, I'd find some respectable ones and not something that sounds batshit crazy.


Mike Messerli said...

What you described "isn't my bag either."

Jason said...

As someone known among my people for being more blunt than they seem comfortable with, I now understand that I've not been nearly blunt enough.

You are my hero.

Tatarize said...

Mike, do you have some new kind of Christianity that isn't, at it's core, about blood sacrifice?

Anthony said...

The Jewish zombie man-god-ghost thing HAD me... until he invented Kirk Cameron! He even makes bananas look bad.

Mike Messerli said...


I am in complete agreement with the author of this post- the religion he described is one I do not believe in either!

I do not have "a new kind of Christianity." BUT, neither do I believe in what was described here. Your question goes to what you call the "core", but I would suggest that what you describe is not the core of Christianity. Thanks for the question. I would enjoy a visit on this further.

Tatarize said...

It's a great one liner, that "that's not the God I believe in either" but it doesn't really apply that much. The whole Jesus sacrifice thing is the center of Christianity and it's blood sacrifice. That's a little bit freakish.